Turmoil

Who will save me from this turmoil?
I thought it would be forever.
I thought we would be happy.
Only my pillows know the anguish I feel.

Big time insomnia

Yes I'm troubled. And having insomnia.
Is there any drug that could cure all these? I'd also need it to make me smarter.

That's not true

You tell me you are busy. You tell me you don't have time.

I believed that you were swamped and tell you that it's fine.

You send a message on your phone. You do it all day long.

I watch your eyes light up the night in somewhere I don't belong.

You grabbed your stuff and hop on board to a journey which I can't go.

I'm left behind to ponder what it is you can't forgo.

You do stuff that are fun. You do stuff that are new.

It seems you think that I can't keep up with the interests that you grew.

You say it was a mistake. You say you regret it so.

I watch you make the same choices as the ones not long ago.

You hold my hand with love and hold it to your cheek.

I try to understand you but my mind is all so bleak.

You tell me it is friendship and that special friends are few.

I suggest that I can make friends too but it just seems weird to you.

You know that I get upset with this, yet you two still stick like glue.

I can't take the disappointment anymore from things you say untrue.

Too much untruths and withheld information don't make strong foundation for trust.

My life is such.

My mind is full of lofty dreams. 

Of ambitions and passion bursting at the seams. 

Yet everyday I live the same. 

Nobody but myself to blame. 

My life is such, such is my life.

I imagine days gone by in bliss. 

Wish life could give me a hug and kiss. 

But everyday the heartache grows inside. 

I drop it all and run to hide. 

My life is such, such is my life.

I love nature and wished it loved me back. 

Instead it stabs me in the back. 

My pulsing veins run red it seems. 

I know that I do not bleed green. 

My life is such, such is my life.

The signal sends a happy tone. 

But when I check, it's not to my phone. 

Conversations ceased to come my way. 

No more sharing of things nor "How's today?" 

My life is such, such is my life.

Good company, I once used to be. 

But now it becomes "don't talk to me". 

My thoughts are boring no point to share. 

I'm now uninteresting - this I'm aware. 

My life is such, such is my life.

Slowly I'll try to let it go. 

Stop fighting life just go where it flows. 

It will be okay life just goes on.

Even if it's not a happy song.