I cannot stand this Pinocchio guy la, he damn poser.
I mean okay la people say he's of humble background, say that his father Geppetto poor wood carver only work work work long hours in the day then no time to educate him like any other boy. That is ok la, I sympathise ok, I do. I know, life in Tuscan in the 1880s for Pinocchio and his ~PaPa~ very tough.
But this Geppetto ar, can actually carve the wood until the wood come alive, I mean, if he has this ability then.. then WoW already! Can go and sell his ability and earn money then can marry a wife and have a proper family already, then can have real sons.
Anyway its quite amazing la, this Pinocchio has no digestion system but he still wants to eat food some more, then so block-head also wan to go school some more. Damn poser, he thinks he is a real boy ar. His ~PaPa~ gave in to his should have sold him to a marionette theatre instead of sending him to school. Such a fascinating block-head sure can fetch a high price!
U noe ol' Geppetto went and sold his coat to buy him books leh! Then then then u noe wat that block-head did? Let's not talk abt the day when he kicked his ~PaPa~ as soon as his legs were carved. Let's also not talk abt him causing Geppetto to be nabbed by a carabineer (aka police officer in those days) because he was thought to have mistreated Pinocchio.
(Side note: I mean, how do u actually abuse a puppet? Really I cannot comprehend wat the carabineer had been thinking. If I were to see a wooden boy running in the streets I'd have called up the newspaper hotline already.)
Anyways, this poser Pinocchio ar, he thought he'd enjoy a marionette show like the rest of the humans. However as we all know, he is a poor boy yadaa yadaa. So he sold off his school books (that Geppetto had bought using the proceeds of selling off his only coat) and bought the tickets for the marionette show. Then he dumb dumb went and disturbed the marionette performance and in the end he was almost used as fire-wood for the marionette master.
The marionette master see him so poser so I guess he must have thought that a poser son would make a horrid son. He sympathised with Geppetto and gave some gold coins to Pinocchio and asked him to bring the coins to his ~PaPa~.
But guess what happened. Pinocchio the poser boy wanted to plant his gold coins so that they could grow into more gold coins - how greedy! - so he de-toured from his route home to plant his gold coins. Alas! He was almost tricked into giving up his gold coins, but he managed to sneak away from his trickers with the help of a fairy.
The fairy was nice to help this poser boy, but with his poser ways, he had attempted to lie to the fairy. And what happens when Pinocchio lies? His nose grew and grew and grew and grew... till he was pinned against the wall and could not move. The fairy had to hire a bunch o' them woodpeckers to chisel down his nose to regular size.
Poser boy Pinocchio and the fairy then agreed to stay together. Pinocchio was sent to fetch his ~PaPa~ from his existing home, but on the way he was tricked another time to continue his journey to a suitable place to plant his gold coins. This time, Pinocchio finally lost his coins to the tricksters.
Pinocchio went to the police to lodge a complaint, but the police thought he was too poser and thus threw him into prison. Some days later, the prison had a celebration and all prisoners were released. Thus Pinocchio was a free poser boy again, and headed home-bound.
On his long journey home, Pinocchio got into various types of trouble, due to his poser attitude. They are really so poser so I shall not discuss the details. Eventually his long absence from home was worrying his ~PaPa~, and his dear ol' ~PaPa~ began to build a boat to sail to distant lands to search for his poser son. Pinocchio rushed to his ~PaPa~ and tried to stop him from sailing off, but he was too late. Geppetto had sailed off and was swallowed by a dogfish! i.e. a monstrous, big, fish.
Pinocchio had earlier wanted to swim towards Gepetto, but as the waves were to strong, he failed and almost was drowned. A kind dolphin offered to give Pinocchio a ride to a nearby island. Poser Pinocchio met the same fairy from earlier, at this island. The fairy reminded Pinocchio of his wish to become a real boy, and told him to be a good boy before he is rewarded with the body of a real boy.
With determination, Pinocchio dutifully attended school. However, being the poser he is, he got into trouble once again, and was nabbed by the police (again). On the way to prison, Pinocchio escaped and poser-ly made his journey home.
When he returned, he saw the same fairy from above from above at his home. The fairy offered him a second chance to be a good boy. From then onwards, Pinocchio tried to set aside his poser ways to work diligently to be a good boy. He passed with flying colours (so cliché) and the fairy was very pleased. She promised him that the next day he will become a real boy.
But before the next day could happen, Pinocchio ran off with a playmate to a place named the Land of Play. In this place, lazy boys who kept playing and playing will automatically be turned to donkeys. But of course the poser Pinocchio did not know of this. He eventually became a donkey and was sold to a circus to perform dangerous poser-donkey stunts. One day he fell and hurt himself and could no longer perform, so he was sold by the circus owner to a drum maker.
The drum maker had wanted to drown the Pinocchio donkey in the sea so that he could skin the dead donkey and use the skin for his drums. The Pinocchio donkey went down the water, and a Pinocchio puppet resurfaced. It turned out that the fish in the sea loved to snack on poser donkey skin, so they had eaten up all the skin and what had remained was the naked puppet skeleton.
The poser Pinocchio dived back into the sea and was eaten by a dogfish. Pinocchio was so upset to be stuck in the fish forever, and then.. he saw a light in the tummy of the massive dogfish. He trailed the light along the squishy inner space of the dogfish, and was led to an old man - who coincidentally, turned out to be Geppetto (how poser!).
Pinocchio somehow managed to bring Geppetto and escape from digestion by the dogfish, and swam him to shore. They slowly made their way to a small house occupied by a poser talking cricket. The cricket allowed their accommodation in lieu of work done. As Geppetto was in poor health after staying within the dogfish for some months, Pinocchio volunteered to work at the farm for the cricket. After some months, he had amassed some wealth and he wanted to buy himself a new set of poser clothing and he went to town to search for one. On the way to the boutique, he met with a talking snail who told Pinocchio that the fairy from earlier from above from earlier was in bad health.
Pinocchio sympathised with her condition and donated all his money to the ailing fairy through the talking snail. That very night, the poser puppet dreamt that the fairy from above from earlier from above from earlier swang by and planted a kiss on his head. When Pinocchio awoke from his dream, he realised that he had finally become a REAL POSER BOY!! The fairy also left other stuff for him, like new boots and clothing, and a bag of gold coins. How convenient.
Poser puppet Pinocchio was then reunited with his ~PaPa~ after he had recovered from his bad health, and they lived happily ever after.. la dee da.
Such a poser-worthy story!! Eesh.
♥
